Ever because the dead-eyed, boyish-looking Audrey Hale blasted her means into the Nashville Covenant Faculty on March 27, 2023 and killed three college students and three grownup staffers earlier than two cops shot her lifeless, the unanswered query stays: Why did she do it?
Early hypothesis hinged round the truth that Hale had taken to calling herself “Aiden” and that her rampage was motivated by a need to take “trans vengeance” in opposition to a hateful transphobic society that refused to simply accept that she was a “he.” However the place was her “Tranifesto”?
In early April 2023, the Metropolitan Nashville Police Division revealed it had seized a checklist of things belonging to Hale that included telephones, laptops, a suicide observe, and 19 journals.
Star Information Digital Media, father or mother firm of Nashville-based conservative-leaning web site The Tennessee Star, filed a lawsuit on Could 9, 2023 trying to compel the FBI to launch Hale’s writings to the general public. Two days later, the FBI despatched a memo to Nashville police opposing the paperwork’ launch.
In November 2023, cross-dressing conservative influencer Steven Crowder leaked three pages from Hale’s writings, your complete contents of which I have beforehand transcribed. One of many three pages consisted of Hale’s timeline for her “bloodbath,” and one other seems to have been written the identical day she dedicated the taking pictures. Past utilizing a byline of “Aiden,” the three leaked pages didn’t point out trannies in any respect and as a substitute urged that Hale was motivated by rage in opposition to “crackers/going to fancy non-public colleges.”
Different data that has dribbled in because the bloodbath painted an image of a delusional failed artist named Audrey Hale who fashioned unrequited crushes on native black women. So other than revealing herself as an aspiring interracial lesbian, there was nonetheless virtually nothing about gender dysphoria as a motivating consider Hale’s mass taking pictures.
On June 5 of this 12 months, The Tennessee Star confirmed that it had obtained digital photographs of “about 80 pages of Hale’s writings from a supply near the Covenant investigation.” The pictures have been “of pocket book pages written by Hale that have been recovered from the automobile she drove to the Covenant Faculty.” Thoughts you, that leaves the contents of no less than 18 different journals, in addition to Hale’s telephones and laptops, nonetheless unreleased.
In contrast to the earlier leaks, the passages culled from the journal reveal a tortured sufferer of gender psychosis with horrible spelling and an axe to grind in opposition to a society which wouldn’t settle for that she was “really” a male.
Diminutive heeb Ben Shapiro’s Day by day Wire obtained screenshots of three of the recently-unveiled journal pages and, similar to their former affiliate Steven Crowder did months in the past, they made positive to plaster their watermark all around the photographs.
Since June 5, the Star has revealed dozens of articles concerning the leaks in addition to their authorized struggles to compel authorities to launch all of Audrey Hale’s writings.
Citing the Metro Nashville Police Division, the Star reported that Hale started receiving mental-health therapy on the Vanderbilt College Medical Middle in April 2001, when she was solely six years outdated. In addition they confirmed that she’d been prescribed 4 psychoactive drugs: the antidepressant Lexapro and the anti-anxiety meds Ativan, Hydroxyzine, and Buspirone.
In the mean time, there is no such thing as a proof that Hale was taking male hormones or had obtained any female-to-male reassignment surgical procedure. The concept that she was really a boy trapped in a woman’s physique was all in her head.
At present — Monday June 17, 2024 — Tennessee Star editor-in-chief Michael Patrick Leahy will seem earlier than a black feminine choose named I’Ashea Myles to elucidate why he didn’t violate a courtroom order to maintain “sure purported paperwork and knowledge” underneath seal.
What follows is a compilation of passages gleaned from the tiny textual nuggets that the Star has already launched in addition to unedited, uncorrected, and sexually graphic transcripts taken from journal screenshots dated March 11, 2023 — 16 days earlier than the Covenant Faculty Capturing. It seems that all the entries have been written in early 2023. Based mostly on the leaks from final November, I’ve taken the freedom of assuming that what the Tennessee Star rendered as “f*****” is definitely “faggot” quite than “fucker.”
Undated Entries
Why does my mind not work proper? Trigger I used to be born incorrect. . . . Nothing on earth can save me . . . by no means ending ache. Faith received’t save.A horrible feeling to know I’m nothing of the gender I used to be born of. I’m probably the most sad boy alive. I want to be lifeless.
I can be of no use of affection for any lady if I don’t have what they want: boy’s physique / male gender.
No brown women, no love. . . . I’m nothing. Brown love is probably the most stunning type.
I’ve all the time been totally different. Lots of people run away from my distinction like it’s the plague or one thing. . . . Why did God make me this manner? I really feel incorrect. I used to be born incorrect.
My goals can’t be right here, so I need to die. I really feel unhealthy. Damage an excessive amount of. Unhappy all of the goddamned time. Both I’ve an excessive amount of estrogen or am only a unhappy, lonely boy.
The [cocoon] of my outdated self will die after I depart my physique and the boy in me can be free; within the butterfly transformation; the true me. . . . If God received’t give me a boy physique in heaven, then Jesus is a faggot.
1/19/23
EVERYTHING HURTS. . . .A horrible feeling to know you I’m nothing of the gender I used to be born of.
I’m probably the most sad boy alive
I want to be lifeless. X
1/25/23
Need butt intercourse an enormous stunning brown lady, w/ an enormous ass and a small assholeIf I had a penis, it’d be massive + rock arduous too unhealthy I’m a tragic boy born w/ a puny vagina . . .
I pay no hire or payments . . . nonetheless dwell [with] mother and father, would possibly as effectively throw me in a retard residence.
2/6/2023
Every little thing HURTSI can be of no use of affection for any lady if I don’t have what they want: boy’s physique / male gender.
I’m probably the most sad boy alive.
Main blow to ladies; I’m a boy that has no penis.
2/7/23
WHITE NOTHINGNESSMy mother and father aren’t wealthy. They work arduous for [their] cash so I didn’t find yourself homeless. But I nonetheless really feel unhealthy . . . poor folks resent this shit. . . .
It’s higher to be common [and] have mates. Probably the most good folks endure probably the most and are probably the most remoted from the whole lot they love.
2/20/23
Fuck getting outdated; all that BS . . . it’s notorious to die younger! Dying younger is my future . . .I make no influence . . . all my success was overcoming my darkness. . . . I do know myself / nobody knew, nobody is aware of me; this life; actuality.
I’m of no society. And I hate society [because] society ignores to see me. I’m a queer; I’m meant to die.
It’s not everybody within the White Home making criminalizing legal guidelines; it’s somebody scheming. . . . And whoever he/she/they could be, they aren’t American [and] don’t have any care on this planet about what ‘Land of the Free’ means. No matter faggot is taking away human rights shouldn’t be of a human in any respect; only a robotic.
So now in America, it makes one a felony to have a gun or, be transgender, or non-binary. God I hate these shithead politicians.
Disabled have rights, civil races have rights, LGBTQ have rights, gun homeowners have rights.
So now [because] of you, I want dying on myself reason behind the pure hatred of my feminine gender . . . with no rights, anybody’s nation is a shitty dictatorship.
2/21/23
I used to be known as a girl, girl, and ma’am all in the identical day. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT MY GENDER. EVERYTHING HURTS.I used to be really recognized as a male in the present day and it felt proper however embarrassed of my feminine physique. I SHOULD NOT BE IN THIS BODY!
3/8/23
I would like a trans physician . . . this feminine gender position makes me need to not exist. . . .
3/11/23
My Imaginary PenisMy penis exists in my head. I swear to god Im a male. I take into consideration sexual fantasies, about how if my dick was actual I’d fuck the lady I really like within the ass. I need to know what thats like, however I by no means will as a result of I used to be damned to be born this manner. I swear to fuck I hate it goddamned so [illegible]. Its a fucking curse. Having a mind like mine has its godliness but additionally susceptible to creating poor ass selections. . . . Fuck me, man. Mother simply says Im younger and younger folks make mimstakes. However with me, its painfully greater than that with being autistic and waste time on a regular basis; myself, folks, Loss of life itself. And the most important shit; the torchure of being raised a woman, and truly believed I simply needed to take care of it, and tried to be femenine. However that didn’t final lengthy after highschool ended + not needed to concern of being known as a dyke or a faggot. It was solely till my early 20’s I lastly discovered the reply — that altering ones gender is feasible. And who I actually was I lastly embraced w/o disgrace. However oh fucking no, not w/ my mom.
What she believes, how she grew up conservativly, and that LGBTQ — particularly transgender in her period was an enigma, an sickness or almost non-existent. I might need advised her as soon as in childhood I want I used to be a boy when she made me put my shirt again on as a child. However would say ‘Your a woman, and thats how god made me; you have been born some form of bullshit like that. It made me mad. As a result of being a boy as a child was after I was felt most like myself. A naked, flat chest made me free. Woman puberty inprisoned me. And so does my thoughts. Puberty = Life sentence
The folks on this world provides extra bullets to shoot violent ideas into my head full-on auto. I hate parental views; now my mother sees me as a daughter — and he or she’d not bear to need to free that daughter as a result of a son can be the dying of Audrey.
Ache of loosing a daughter? Thats not ache, thats selfishness. Identical to any remainder of th eparents with that mindset. They’re all filled with shit. How may they not ever consider thier personal youngster struggling, and that they hate their gender so unhealthy they minimize + need to kill themselves? Fuck mother and father like them who consider themselves first, and thier choice of conservative faith — homosexual shit makes them imagine that the kid they’re given ought to keep that means in how they like them to be out of concern or (illegible).
Even when transgender therapy was found and examined throughout my time, I understand how the scenario would have turned out. My mom wouldn’t have payed a cent. Kids who have been capable of efficiently take puberty blockers and by no means enter a torchured puberty, these little faggots don’t know the way good they fucking have it. I’d kill to have mother and father who would let thier youngster be blissful regardless of how totally different it’s to thier viewpoints or don’t agree, or petrified of it. They’re willin gto hearken to their youngsters, not the opposite means round. Id kill to have had these assets; 2007 was the start of puberty blockers and a newfound discovery for therapy of non-conforming transgender youngsters. 2007 was after I was after I was within the sixth grade. Puberty already hit me. The one cause I may conclude why it didn’t trouble me an excessive amount of is that my boobs have been small. I although they’d keep that means without end. My autistic mind change in physique fucked me over now, even when my boobs are nonetheless small for probably the most half.
It began w/ getting new underwear for my massive bears (my two tabbies, my lion + frog) And there I used to be pondering of porn and doing cosmetic surgery on my boy stuffed animals after I acquired residence giving them penises b/c thier center in part regarded like a vagina + the underwear was [illegible] too massive. Why not give quantity with [illegible]. No boy ought to ever have that. If I cant change my appearence, I can fake how it will be by my creativeness of childs play by way of my stuffed animal’s spirits by way of me.
Toy Intercourse (My Imaginary Penis.)
I can fake to be them + do the issues boys do + expertise w/ thier dicks. My boy self as tony — my stuffed boy doll is just like the boy I’m in one other kind since childhood. I constructed for him a penis, then acquired out my lady doll named Ashley (who’s tonys life-long boyfriend) to have intercourse w/ tony. Ashley was represented as any dream lady I needed to have in actual life as a toddler (I appreciated blonde white sizzling women again then), and tony is me; having these intimate relationships w/ a wonderful lady. Tony is a boy: in and out. Ashley is a woman in and out. Two straight lovers who’re in full nature of themselves by consciousness. I let Tony fuck Ashley within the ass hard-humping and stuffed Tony’s massive penis in aggressivly into her asshole. It took a number of makes an attempt for Tony to place his dick into her vigina as a result of he has an enormous dick (and was even greater since had had an erection) lastly went in and Ashley cried and moaned for an excellent ten minutes. Tony humped gradual and mild from viginal intercourse. In however intercourse, he humped speedly and arduous, tony grunting w/ all his energy. Then after I fucked Ashley for an excellent ten minutes (bear in mind Tony is me).
Then I let her suck his dick and contact his erected penis. After that they wrapped one another in thier arms + legs as a sloth hugging a tree. After love they made, gracefully sat facet by facet bare holding fingers, surrounded by the scattering of thier garments. I took photos of thier intercourse positions.
My imaginary penis was arduous for hours. Rock arduous as a flintstone. Hours making material penises for my boy bears, solely to appreciate I missed the health club trigger they closed at 7. I used to be mad already trigger I had no work all that afternoon. Walked across the mall searching t-shirts at Spencers and acquired some boots for tommy, my stuffed lion At build-A-Bear workshop. I bought some stickers at Zummies for my automotive and one sticker I acquired — A stripper booty illustration w ‘Dat Ass’ on it. God, I’m such a pervert. I waste an excessive amount of time in my fantasies. . . .
